Conflict with others is inevitable in the world since we cannot be alive alone. However, some people suffer from severe criticism and lose the healthy balance. We understand others differently sometimes depending on our emotion. How is it different when we like or dislike others? Let’s learn how to reset the mind.
Different acknowledgement
Even if the action is the same, when you like and dislike someone, your acknowledgement is different by cognitive bias. See below table.
| Situation | If you like him/her | If you hate him/her |
| Quiet | Cool-head | Unfriendly |
| Talking a lot | Funny/Active | Chatterbox/Noisy |
| Polite | Good manner | Flattering |
| Do something | Motivated | Doing unnecessary things |
| Do nothing | Steady | Dependent/inconsiderate |
| No quick response | He/She must be busy (with respect) | What is he/she doing !! (with annoy) |
Think about this from the other side. If he/she likes you, they regard your behaviour/comments positively. However, if he/she thinks that they are betrayed by you, even if you act the same as yesterday, their impression is negative. It is an unstable criteria.
How to reset your mind?
Basically, we dislike all other people except ourselves. If you’re lucky, your family members and friends respect you, take care of you. However, most people don’t care about you. Illogical behaviour and talking is to make you confused. Your loved one and friends don’t take those actions and always stand by you, encourage you.
People are angry when their desire is disturbed. For example, eating, sleeping, sex/feeling/love, money, fame. We’re irritated at the person who disturbs the desire. For example, your achievement in the workplace is brilliant. Many people praise you. However, some people ignore you or say something ironic. Their desire is disturbed their desire due to your achievement. Therefore, they are cold shoulder to you. This is not your business, but THEIR business. If you realize the difference, you’ll be able to reset your mind immediately.
Summary
There are two types of people, who are angry easily and who are not angry so easily. This is personality and could be cultural background. Some cultures are allowed to follow their own desires rather than taking care of others, other cultures regard self-discipline highly. The more people like you, the more your actions are accepted easily. However, keep your balance rather than being approved by others.
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